Snowiest December in Twin Cities History = Dec 2010

Shove it 1969! On the 26th, the total snowfall in the metro area for December 2010 officially surpassed December 1969 with 33.4 inches of snow and 7 days remaining in the month. The official snow total at the end of the month is yet to be determined because another storm is coming tonight. Since the 26th the weather has actually gotten worse. Yesterday I had the pleasure of running through slushy puddles while a slight drizzle increased to a frigid downpour. Then, overnight, the rain froze and a light dusting of snow covered the ice making for extremely treacherous footing. On today's run, the sky suddenly started spitting jagged bits of ice at my face during an interval. It was fun times for sure. Maybe 2011 will bring better weather? The outlook looks COLD.

Oh yeah, and the metrodome roof collapsed.

Reading for...fun?

The past two days I have been reading for (dare I say) fun. It has been a really strange experience. The urge to pick up a book and look at the words inside it is one that I am fairly unfamiliar with.

Normally, I despise reading. I can count the number of books I have read in college on one hand...with 3 fingers. Last summer I attempted to read a book for fun and I got about a third of the way through and just couldn't take it anymore. The feeling of literary knowledge voluntarily entering my brain made me want to vomit. Also, textbooks are not for reading; they are for skimming. For Christmas, my brother gave me a book of Awkward Family Photos and my Mom commented, somewhat alarmed, "You gave her a book?!?" To this, my brother responded, "Don't worry, It is mostly pictures".

Anyways, this reading for fun all started when the internet broke. What was I to do with my time if I couldn't watch online tv??? I couldn't call a friend because it was morning still. We had given my mom a book for Christmas called "Unbroken" so, although repulsed by the principle of it, I picked up the book and opened to the first page.

As it turns out, this book is the true story of a man named Louis Zamperini, who had probably one of the most interesting lives ever lived. He qualified for the 1936 Olympics in the 5000m run, travelled there on a ship with Jesse Owens, met Hitler, was thought by many to be the guy who would first break 4 min in the mile, got drafted into the Air Force for WWII, and flew several spectacular, heroic missions before his plane went down in the ocean. Right now I am about halfway through the book and Louie and another guy have been stranded at sea for 21 days, circled by sharks, and drifting into enemy waters. I am going to go read it more now.

Letters To Annoying People

Dear Guy in Car During My Run Today,

I realize that I was in your way. I know I should have been paying more attention to you and less to my ipod but lets be realistic. I was only in your way for about 4 seconds and I moved immediately when I realized you were there. You didn't have to roll down your window to lecture me and you wasted more time doing that than I wasted by being in your way. Also, I couldn't hear your lecture over my music.

Dear Stats Professor,

Thanks for grading things dumbly and giving me my worst grade in college on my easiest class in college.

Dear Semi Truck Driver During the Most Recent Snowstorm,

As far as I could tell, the turning lane had not been plowed yet this winter and I was not about to plow my car into it. I slowed down well in advance giving you plenty of time to react. When you blasted your horn at me from behind, I chose to move to the left and miss my turn so that you wouldn't hit me because you clearly couldn't stop. Was it really necessary to shout at me and flick me off on your way by? Maybe you would have preferred it if I had barreled into the turn lane and done several flips and died in the blizzard or if I had stayed in your lane and allowed you to run over me from behind.

Dear Taylor Swift,

All your songs are the same.

Dear Justin Bieber,

You are just really annoying. Thats all there is to say about that.

Dear Fluids Professor,

I am ONE point away from an A-. Can I please just have it?

Dear Person Who Plows Sidewalks,

Did you do it by hand? It really just looks like you rolled your body over the sidewalk and kind of kicked some snow off as you went. A newborn baby could have done better.

Yours Truly,

Danielle "Uncharacteristically Bitter For This Time Of Year" Berndt

Patty Cake Cats!

Austin posted this on my facebook and I liked it:

Cats playing patty cake

Also, today is the last day of classes and I am going to pour acid on all of my books. Or maybe I should wait til finals are over and mail them back to Chegg. I shall flip a coin.

Exam and Creepy Guy Picture

Today I had an exam. First day back from Thanksgiving break and WHAM! It was in Principles of Electronic Instrumentation, which, despite sounding extremely interesting, is actually dull to the point that I would rather individually pluck out my own leg hairs for an hour than sit through a lecture. I meant to study over break but I forgot all my notes at school so that ended that plan. The new plan was to study for 6 hours today but unfortunately, I also am getting over the flu so it made it just short of impossible to concentrate. Oh well. What's done is done. In better news, lab was cancelled for tomorrow!!! I will celebrate by not doing my prelab. JOY!

Here is a picture of an excessively creepy guy who I hope to never meet:

It is Thanksgiving and I am thankful for stuff

I am thankful for having limbs.

I am thankful for friends who are weird too.

I am thankful for opposable thumbs.

I am thankful for a family that I love.

I am thankful for stuffing my face til I puke.

I am thankful for my dog, Tucker, and my cat, Sgt. Pepper.

I am thankful for having no responsibilities for a few days.

I am thankful for when I fart in public and nobody notices.

I am thankful for music while I run or do homework.

I am thankful for the ability to see, hear, feel, speak, and smell.

I am thankful for other humans.

I am thankful for awkward silences only occurring occasionally.

I am thankful for being birthed.

I am thankful for having freaks for roommates.

I am thankful for my track team.

I am thankful for life and the world.

I am thankful for documentaries about natural disasters and prisons.

I am thankful for eyelids.

Minnesota says "Welcome back!"

On Friday, I returned to Minnesota to find that it was covered in snow and really cold. Weird. Anyways, returning to winter meant it was time for some winter driving. Lynnea, Hilary, and I went to visit our friend at the U of M during a freezing rain storm. Here is what happened:

10:30 PM The first sign things were going to be dangerous -- While approaching a stoplight, I applied the breaks and slid half a block. I'm not even exaggerating. It was very frightening.

11:10 PM Arrive at U of M after seeing several accidents on the road and driving well under 30 mph the entire way. Hang out for a while, decide to visit our other friend at Hamline.

12:15 AM Pull out of the parking garage to find conditions had become exponentially worse. We try to find Hamline. The traffic is terrible, the road is treacherous, and we are not sure where to go.

12:25 AM We begin to realize we will never find Hamline.

12:40 AM A bus is crashed on the side of the highway. Several college looking students are trying to push it back on to the road. We are getting really tired and the 5 - 10 mph maximum speed is frustrating. It looks like a disaster zone with accidents and emergency lights everywhere.

12:41 AM Decide to make the most of our situation by cranking up the music and having a dance party. Meet some friends in another car who held up a sign saying "why do we live in MN again?". Our friends join in on our dance party from their car. A woman from another car wants to get a lighter from us. We don't have one.

1:10 AM Exit the highway and try to turn around to head back home only to find that the ramp we took is blocked by another bus crash. We come to a stand still. The bus is a pink party bus.

1:40 AM Still stuck on the ramp behind the bus but we are getting closer to the little gap between the bus and the concrete side barrier where cars are squeezing through one at a time. Other cars are becoming complete jerks and trying to cut in front of us. Wait your turn you freaking jack wagons.

1:50 AM It is almost our turn to squeeze through the gap and a woman on the party bus has her window down. I asked her how long they were stuck and she said an hour and a half. All the other emergency vehicles were occupied helping other people. Wow.

1:55 AM I execute the maneuver around the bus like a pro. Some ppl on the ramp give a thumbs up for us being so awesome and not getting stuck on the ice like the dumb ones who slammed on their accelerators and spun out.

2:00 AM A cop is blocking the ramp to get back on the highway to go the other way and get home. We don't know how else to get there. He tells us a possible route we could take but suggests waiting for 3 to 4 hours before attempting to get back because it is too dangerous.

2:10 AM We opt for the other route and realize we are back at the U of M in the exact place we had started.

2:30 AM The other route is working quite nicely but we still can't go over 20 mph or we will spin out.

3:00 AM Arrive home. Bed. Finally.

This morning I read an article about the night. There were 438 accidents -- 376 of which were in the metro area including a 30 car pile up on I-94 where we were driving. Between 10 PM and 2 AM, 900 calls were made to emergency services. A cop was quoted saying "Overnight was one for the ages". I would have to agree.

The video in this link is pretty intense: http://edenprairie.kstp.com/content/freezing-rain-causes-dozens-accidents-around-metro-no-travel-advised

Ice Breaker Sours Addiction?

Today I worried that I might be addicted to ice breaker sours. I like them a lot. They taste really good, they freshen your breath, and sometimes the act of eating one in class keeps me awake for ten minutes. They come with two doors that say "not to share" and "to share". I have never opened the "to share" side but I am sure that would be terrible. One time I paid 5 dollars for a pack of them at the airport. Anyways, to make sure I wasn't addicted I looked it up on the internet. Google did not have a specific list for "You are addicted to Ice Breaker Sours if..." list, so I just took the one for drinking addiction and changed it to Ice Breaker Sours

_X_ I frequently (once or twice a day) find that my conversation
centers on Ice Breaker Sours experiences.

_X_ I eat Ice Breaker Sours to deal with tension or physical stress.

___ Most of my friends or acquaintances are people I eat Ice Breaker Sours

with.

___ I have lost days of school/work because of eating Ice Breaker Sours or other drug use.

___ I have had the shakes when going without Ice Breaker Sours.

_X_ I regularly take Ice Breaker Sours upon awakening, before eating,
or while at school/work.

___ I have been arrested for Driving Under the Influence of Ice Breaker Sours.

___ I have periods of time that can't be remembered (blackouts).

___ Family members think Ice Breaker Sours use is a problem for me.

___ I have tried to quit using Ice Breaker Sours but cannot. (A good test is voluntarily going for six weeks without Ice Breaker Sours and not experiencing physical or emotional distress.)

_X_ I often double up and/or gulp Ice Breaker Sours or regularly use more Ice Breaker Sours
than others at parties.

_X_ I often take Ice Breaker Sours to "get ready" for a social occasion.

_X_ I regularly hide Ice Breaker Sours from those close to me so that they

will not know how much I am using.

_X_ I often have Ice Breaker Sours by myself.

___ My use of Ice Breaker Sours has led to conflict with my friends or
family members.

Scoring:
* If you noted three or four of the statements you should be suspicious about the way you use Ice Breaker Sours.
* If you noted five you may have the beginnings of a problem and perhaps should start looking for some kind of help.
* If you noted more than five, it would probably be a good idea to talk about your use of Ice Breaker Sours with a professional counselor.

Drat. I think I may have a problem...

words/phrases that should be used more

Some words just aren't used as much as they should be. Examples:

Drat

Frack or Frickitty Frack

This is the worst thing that could have ever happened ("Clickitty clack, frickitty frack, this is the worst thing that could have ever happened")

Geronimo!

Knickerbockers ("Ya won't need yer knickerbockers cuz we're goin' to the swimmin' hole!" or "Don't get your knickerbockers in a bunch.")

Booger ("Oh booger. I can't find my knickerbockers anywhere.")

Biffy ("I need to take a poop, where is the Biffy? I hope I can get my knickerbockers down in time.")

Gidget ("My roommate Kathryn is a gay midget. She is a Gidget.")

Gaysian ("My roommate Kathryn has a gay, asian friend. She is a Gaysian.")

Spiffy (I am feeling really good right now. So good, in fact, one may say I am feeling spiffy.")

Any other suggestions?

Water

Tonight I learned that water should not be taken for granted. Earlier today, our house received a notification that our water would be shut off at 7PM and turned on again tomorrow morning. For some reason we all thought that this wouldn't really happen even though signs were posted on our front AND back doors. It happened.

After cross country practice and a horrifyingly bad 2 hour Finite Element exam I returned home to find that the faucet did nothing when I turned it on. Wonderful. Then I went through a series of things in my head that I wanted to do that would no longer be possible:

1) Drink water

2) Shower

3) Make Pasta

4) Wash dishes / run the dishwasher

5) Flush the toilet

6) Wash my hands

7) Fill the cat's water dish

8) Brush my teeth

9) Take my daily vitamins

Guess I will just have to be dirty, thirsty, malnourished, and unable to use the bathroom tonight. Oh well. At least none of these things are essential for living. Anyone who reads this, I hope you are enjoying your cushy privileged life with abundant supplies of water.

COMPETITION: LIFE

If you have been feeling a lack of competition in your life, here is a solution! Almost anything can be made into a competitive event.

Spice up your walk to class by being the fastest one to cross the street and then turn and announce your victory to all those loser pedestrians that finished behind you.

At the grocery store, make your shopping experience more rewarding by winning at produce selection. Approach another shopper who is inspecting any kind of fruit or veggie and find a fruit or veggie of the same kind that looks like it will clearly taste better than theirs. Next, present it to them (preferably very close to their face) and shout "WIN!"

Even simply sitting in class can be a competition. Can you defeat your neighbor with your stunningly good posture? Can you finish copying down a line faster than them? When class is over, can you exit the room before everyone else? I'll bet you can.

This comic is false. Anything can be a competition as long as you decide it is and as long as you declare your victory when you have won.

The worst thing that could have ever happened.

Several things happened this weekend that were "the worst thing that could have ever happened". It was pretty traumatic. First, Carla was rolling her rolly bag of trainer tricks over a curb and it flipped on its side. This was the worst thing that could have ever happened. Next, Lauren was stressed about having to put SIXTEEN PINS on her uniform and it was the worst thing that could have ever happened. Finally, just as we thought that life couldn't get any worse, the movie on the bus kept blaring out our eardrums for FIVE MINUTES after it was over and I had to get up and turn it off. Now I truly know what the worst thing that could have ever happened is.

Tonight is the last night the Riverside DQ is open. WERE GONNA GIT US SOME EYEZZ CREAM!

The Art if Doga and the Strangers

Yesterday at practice, McKenzie and I mastered the art of Doga. It is like yoga except it is about angles instead of curves and shallow breathing instead of deep breathing. It is also important to have all fingers pointed during every exercise. Not only can the principles of Doga be applied to running but, as McKenzie pointed out, they can be applied to everything in life. There is also a traditional way to say goodbye in Doga that says: "this isn't goodbye, it is just another opportunity for us to say hello again in the future". Thanks Doga!

The Strangers: this movie doesn't get any less scary no matter how many times you see it. My favorite moment of last night was going to Lauren, Amanda, and Betsy's house (after we all watched this movie) with masks and signs that said: "lock your doors" and "Is Tamra there? Are you sure?" We knocked on the back door then the front door and then just stood silently in their yard with our masks. Then when they came out we sprinted back to the car. As we drove back by their house they where all out in the yard holding up the signs with blank expressions. HA! fun.

Also, the vet said Sgt. Pepper is a boy! This is good because neutering is cheaper than spaying. He is asleep in my lap right now and he just farted and it is absolutely rank.

Sergeant Pepper

There is a new addition to my house. It is an 8-wk old kitten named Sergeant Pepper, or Sarge, or Pepper for short. We found Pepper in a storm drain last Thursday. He was in there crying and so I laid in the middle of a busy intersection and reached down and grabbed him. It was totally safe. Anyways, now Pepper lives in me and Kathryn's room. We don't know if it is a boy or a girl yet because its junk is still too small to tell but we will find out tomorrow when we bring him/her to the vet. So far we have assumed he is a boy because he is weird.

Pepper has three main behaviors (cuddly, ornery, and absolute freak) and he can switch from one to the other in an instant. Usually ornery happens when we ignore him and then he will meow fiercely until you pick him up or pet him. If the ignoring continues, he will go into freak mode where he does anything and everything to be noticed. This includes clawing his way up the side of Kathryn's bed then up the back of my desk chair and finally perching himself on my shoulder. Also, he is very cuddly at night but when he wakes up at 7AM he is hyper. This morning I woke up to him playing rambunctiously in my covers on top of me. Also, at night he likes to try curl up in a ball in between my neck and chin and becomes very forceful when not allowed to do so. I love the kitty.

Halloween Costume Ideas

Halloween is only a few weeks away so here are some great ideas for costumes!

1. Grass

2. Evil Spiderman after several years of inactivity

3. Child in a bag

4. Taco Bell dog at the beach

5. An Idiot

6. Mexican Gargoyle

7. Creepy Dog

Wild Night

Last night I went to bed wearing a sweatshirt, sweatpants, shorts, a T-shirt, and socks and holding my stuffed dog named Scamp. This morning I woke up wearing a Tshirt, shorts and socks. Scamp had been hurled across the room, my sweatshirt was on the floor at the foot of the bed, and I was cuddling with my balled up sweatpants. Also, all of the bedding was tangled and in a pile on top of me. My roommate, Kathryn, said she never woke up to see me doing any of these things. I am just thankful I only removed the outer layer and that Scamp wasn't badly hurt.

Making Friends and Escape

Today I made a friend. I was in stats lecture and I was trying to slip out a little early so I was waiting for the prof to face the chalkboard so she wouldn't see me leave. When she did, I was poised and ready. I quickly but quietly stood up and made for the exit. Out of the corner of my eye, from across the aisle I saw motion. Some guy had been waiting to do the exact same thing and pretty much mirrored my attempt at the door. After exiting Van Allen we talked about how we had both planned our escape and then congratulated each other on our success. He said he had left because he forgot to pay his parking meter and didn't want a ticket. I admitted I left because I was bored. There was already a ticket on his car. Sad day. Maybe we will leave early together more often.

Adventure Run Saturday, Arson Child, and Art

This is a new tradition. It consists of me and Katie going somewhere new to run every Saturday. This was the 3rd Saturday we have done it and I like it. My favorite one so far was last week when we went to the place where we ended our railroad hike last year (in the middle of nowhere) and explored that area further. About 15 minutes in, an angry dog ran out into the road and tried to kill us so we decided to find a more... creative... way to get back to the car. We turned down a random long grass trail to see where that would go. It went to a creek which we balanced on sticks to cross. Shortly afterwards, the trail ended, so we ran through a soybean field for about a mile. Soy beans are surprisingly a lot sharper than one would think. Also, a billion cars kept driving past and staring at us because it turned out we were right by some sort of barn burner concert thing.

Here is an amusing picture from the world wide web:

Here is a world class art masterpiece picture of the view from the bus window that belongs in a museum:

6 ways to make your life more epic:

1. Announce your arrival when you enter any room ("Attention everyone: I am here now and I am entering the room"). Also, announce when you leave.

2. Listen to Pirates of the Caribbean theme music while performing menial tasks (example: washing dishes, folding clothes, making breakfast, etc). You will feel like you have embarked on an odyssey.

3. Wear a cape.

4. Learn to flip a pancake by just moving the frying pan real fast instead of using a spatula.

5. When walking places take as direct of a route as possible (over fences, cut through big crowds, ignore sidewalks and cars).

6. Climb a building.

Boom. Your life is epic.

Here's to You Class Hero

One of my professors is not very nice. He speaks very arrogantly and told me to either quit cross country or drop his class (oops I didn't do either of those things). He also gives really mean pop quizzes. Today for a pop quiz he gave us a good 15 seconds to remember a random fact from a previous class and then had us turn it in. Afterwords he asked how many people got it right and only one person raised their hand (the class jerk). Then he asked why everyone got it wrong and some guy (the class hero) said this:

Prof: Does anyone have a good reason for getting it wrong?

Student: (raises hand) Cuz I am not a human encyclopedia so I don't have the ability to recall random equations from a year ago in less than 30 seconds.

Prof: Then how do you usually figure out problems that require equations?

Student: I look them up on the internet.

Prof: And how long does that take?

Student: A good 30 to 40 seconds.

Prof: What if the server is down?

Student: I have internet on my phone. The server is never down.

Prof: Lets say you are stranded on a desert island with no resources---

Student: ---then I wouldn't be doing circuits problems.

Bravo class hero. You made my day. You are still a nerd though.

Watch this. I love it too much.

Watch this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_sfnQDr1-o&feature=player_embedded

It is too good. Jackie shared this on my facebook wall and the song has dominated my thoughts ever since.

This weekend was procrastination station for sure. Wasted a LOT of time. Fail. Just like this:

Train in my ear

Last Friday every train in the United States converged on Iowa City and each one announced its presence with a deafening roar in my ear. I swear it was every five minutes for the entire day. In addition, every night a train arrives and rudely blows its massive horn at precisely the moment that I am about to fall asleep. Thanks train. Here is what will happen to the next train that wakes me up at 5AM:

UGLIEST CREATURE ON EARTH CONTEST

THE SLOTH WINS. Hands down. I was really tired today so I laid in bed with my computer and looked at sloth pictures on google while listening to classical music. Here's a good one:

Also, click to see this: cat adopted a baby squirrel and taught it to purr. It is cool. My dog is selfish because he has never adopted another species and taught it to bark.

Bein' a Rebel!

Katie, Hannah, and Nicole came over to watch football today. Hannah asked how many people were going to be there and I said 4. It was a lie cuz there were actually over 20! Earlier, I ate breakfast minutes before running. Later I broke Kathryn's guitar string. Intentionally. Soooo BA.

Murder Shed Lab

This morning Fluid Mechanics lab was in a dusty shed by the river. The shed was full of big construction equipment and machines. There was a university sign outside the building but it was only there to lure in students to be killed. Somehow I made it out alive.

The picture is of the TA's

This is a blog.

I had a blog before and I wrote on it once. Goal for this blog: write on it twice. If things go well, maybe 3 times. That might be too hard. I dunno.