We Can't Go Back

New Years kind of makes me nervous for some reason. So does my Birthday. There is all this anticipation built up for that moment when the next year begins or the moment you get one year older and it just makes me uneasy. Absolutely nothing happens at that moment except that you will never be that age again and it will never be 2011 again. I don't like that feeling.

Well, anyways I want to take advantage of the last hours of 2011 because once its gone it is never coming back!!! Starting now and going until midnight, I will have as much fun as possible because there is no excuse not to. Then after midnight I can talk about all the cool things I did in 2011.

Ok, starting NOW!

This is Sydney, Australia where it has already been 2012 for a while:

My Dog is GROSS

Since being home on break if have been able to observe some of my dog's disgusting habits:

1) He spends half the day eating rabbit poop and the other half licking himself to spread the stink to all parts of his body.

2) Sometimes he neurotically licks the carpet in the same place over and over and over while staring straight ahead with a blank expression.

3) He likes to stop during a run to shove his face into dirt piles and then comes up eating something with big smacking mouth motions.

4) He poops when I take him running but he does it on the fly because he doesn't want to be left behind. When he does this, it looks like he is cramping up from the run and his form gets all stiff and he stops for about half a second to squeeze one out and then continues to run. I never remember a poopy bag so I always pretend I didn't see.

5) He is anorexic thin even though he eats all the time.

6) He likes to curl up in a ball alone in a corner of the cold, dark basement. The little creep.

7) Sometimes he gets dirty drool lines on his jowls from eating gross things and then panting really hard for a while.

That is all I can think of right now. He is completely detestable and awful, but I love him anyways. Here is a picture of him when he was young:

Making A Scene At Christmas Eve

I found the best way to do this is to spout blood from an appendage. Any appendage will do.

Per usual, my family was the last of 16 guests to arrive at Christmas Eve. We were balancing bulky presents and dishes of food and wine in our arms so getting through the door (which liked to swing shut of its own accord) became quite the feat. I got half way in and still had one foot outside when the door decided to shut and hit me in the achilles. It stung briefly but I thought nothing of it and headed inside.

After greeting everyone I made my way into the living room and sat on the couch next to my grandpas brother and my mom. We had been talking for a few minutes when I happened to glance down at the ground to see my own blood pooling on our hosts white carpet. It was actually kind of horrifying. Then I lifted my pant leg a little to see the blood oozing out from where the door hit earlier. When I nudged my mom and pointed, all hell broke lose.

Someone ran to get a first aid kit, someone else threw paper towels at me, my mom put a plate under my foot to catch the blood, a fury of questions was launched, "how did this happen?", "when?", "does it hurt?", are you ok?" -- No, it did not hurt, I barely even noticed. Everyone else stopped what they were doing and gathered to see the commotion. My dad rushed to clean the carpet and sat there completely in the way dabbing at the spot while I tried to stop the bleeding. He was completely focused on removing the stain from the carpet and when I mentioned how in the way he was, he said "Well, you could move". Pure class.

Anyways, the cut ended up being fairly small and I am not sure how it was able to produce so much blood (through the coarse of the night it bled through two band aids and a sock). It really didn't hurt so people making a huge deal about it was oh so much fun. My dad successfully removed the carpet stain. The rest of the evening people kept saying things like "hows that foot" and "you better be careful where you step". How wonderfully fantastic it was.

Feeling Magical

While I was running just now, it started snowing and this song from Edward Scissorhands came on my ipod:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nfmo9Y6avz0&feature=fvwrel

It was magical. Afterwards, the theme song from Inception came on and it was way less magical and a lot more "you better go faster or you won't get that idea planted properly into the victims dream within a dream". That won't make sense to anyone who has not seen the movie. Too bad. Everyone should see that movie.

Inception song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JGHI4TAC5U

Done-zo!

YES. Done with finals. Done with homework. Done Done Done.

Now to start forgetting everything I learned (or thought I learned until starting the test and realizing I most definitely had not in fact learned).

During finals week everything other than finals seems really unimportant. There is no time to return texts or go running or take a shower or express interest in what other people are saying or take care of yourself or clean anything. This became especially noticeable this year as my peak studying period happened to coincide with my desperately needing to do laundry and buy food period. For lunch yesterday I had a few clementines, some almonds, a protein bar, and some cookies because it was all I could find within 50 feet of my desk. Then, as soon as each final is taken, all that stuff that became your life is suddenly meaningless and will probably never be used again. I for one could not be more happy about never having to hear about solving the 2D partial differential wave equation using the Fourier series or separation of variables method. Fourier can suck it.

After about 40 hours of straight studying with only about 2 hours of sleep and no meaningful human contact followed by 6 hours of finals followed by 2 hours of paper writing I went for a really weird run in the rain. It felt like I was on several different types of drugs and my iPod sounded like the world was a concert. Ya...then I slept for 12 hours.

Challenge DESTROYED

HAHAHA! 4 posts in less than 1 hour. Take that Betsy Flood. You were so right.

Ed Bassmaster Videos + 20 Day Challenge

When I get back to school from break I have decided to make something different for dinner every single day for 20 days because I am getting really bored of turkey sandwiches and soup.

That is really all I have to say about that.

Also check out these links:

Look at this car

Look at this dog

Look at this - Times Square

Look at this from a car

Ultimate Farting

Thanksgiving Average Age

At Thanksgiving this year I was the youngest person by 30 years.

There were 2 people in their 50s, 1 in their 60s, 3 in their 70s, and 2 in their 80s.

I was the only one there who had not witnessed the 1960s and my mom and I were the only ones who had not witnessed any part of the 1950s.

In fact, I am willing to bet that the average age of the people at my thanksgiving (about 65) was significantly higher than that of any of my friends. Average age not counting me was about 72.

It wasn't bad though. Old people have a lot of interesting stories so it was cool.

Challenge Accepted

Betsy Flood says: "I just blogged three times in 24 hours. Beat that. (I don't doubt that you will)."

Well Betsy, I am going to show you just how right you are.

Boredem

Tonight I ran out of things to do so I started practicing writing with my right hand (since I am a lefty). My hands started writing messages to each other.

Dear left hand,

Why are you so good at writing? Show off...

Love, Right hand

Dear right hand,

You are coming along nicely. Practice makes perfect so don't give up!

Love, Left hand

Dear left hand,

Thanks. I really appreciate it. I will keep trying forever.

Love Always, Right hand

P.S. When we clap, my day lights up and I feel like I am in heaven.

I had to stop before it got too intense.

Ancestors

Guess what.

Robert E. Lee is my third cousin 7 times removed. Don't worry, that doesn't make me a racist.

Also, my great x 10 Grandpa (on my mom's dad's side) was Reverend Charles Grymes and was born in Ightham, Kent, England in 1612 and immigrated to Gloucester County, Virginia in 1644. This is less than 40 years after the John Smith arrived there and all the shenanigans with Pocahontas went down.

So, to sum everything up, my family pretty much started the U.S. of A.

Legit Hoarders In the Family

Yesterday I learned about some family history and apparently there is a hoarding gene in there somewhere.

First some confusing background: My mom's dad's mom (so my Great Grandma Evelina) had 5 siblings - Martha, Gilma, Stella, Elton, and Ruth. Stella and Elton never married and Ruth married a guy named Charlie and Martha married and had a baby named Shirley. Shirley married a guy named Harrison. Of the people mentioned, Stella, Elton, Harrison, and Charlie were all hoarders.

Stella hoarded dolls and her house was like a horror movie. The walls were covered in shelves which were covered in dolls staring into the souls of anyone who entered. My second cousin, Pam, new Stella liked dolls so she gave her one as a gift. Stella promptly named it Janice and and then later wrote Pam a thank you letter saying "Janice is settling in quite nicely between Eunice and Maude".

Elton had numerous collections of things but his most prized possession was his car. He built a building around it without a garage door so that nobody would steal it. This also eliminated the car's only useful function.

Harrison didn't hoard any particular item but would never throw anything away. He flattened and saved all the cardboard boxes he ever had - just in case they needed to be used again. These were placed in the rafters and accumulated there for years until their shear weight actually fractured the rafters.

Charlie hoarded guns.

I would like to say that I could not be more thrilled about having these relatives. It would be super boring if they were all just regular people.

We Be Steady Prankin'

This week there was no practice. So time was filled with all of the following activities:

- Planking at Walmart in onesies and buying plastic forks in bulk

- Forking the track shack

- Failure at fitting 3 people in one bed for a night

- Making Banana Bread and delivering it

- Playing soccer

- Buffalo Wild Wings

- Watching Dexter

- Stopping by a Bday party for ten minutes and then staying for 3 hours

- Watching movies

- iwastesomuchtime.com

- Hyvee 3 times in one hour

- Grilling burgers and hot dogs and making WAY to much mac and cheese

- Making chips ahoy, Nutella, and Peanut Butter sandwiches

- Human Centipede

- Walmart again - dressed in all black - to buy over a mile of yarn

- Yarning the track shack

- a cop drove by while we were doing this, slowed way down, and then let us continue

- Attending a Zumba class

- Dairy Queen

- Karaoke at the hideaway

Time for Thanksgiving break!

Humorous Links (That Work Now)

Sled Jacking Dog:

www.yourpics2008.com/like-a-boss.html

First World Problems:

knowyourmeme.com/photos/194147-first-world-problems

Great Way to Get Immediate Response From Police:
imgdaddy.com/DE/

Church Sign Battle:

pete.com/view/battle-of-the-church-signs

Car Tire Problem

I was driving to the Quad Cities on Wednesday night when an indicator on my dashboard lit up saying I had low tire pressure. I know absolutely nothing about cars so I called my Dad and asked him what to do about it. He said, "You are a mechanical engineer, figure it out," and then added, "but don't fill the tires too full because they will explode and thats really dangerous".

That was soooooo helpful. Thanks Dad. I would like to point out that I am not yet an engineer and the thing about tires exploding just made me extremely paranoid and afraid to put any air in them at all.

Anyways, I got off the highway and went to a bp gas station with the intention to ask for help from the person working there. Behind the counter was an entire Indian family who stared at me in silence as I entered. When I asked for help, all I got was that the air pump was on the other side of the cold, dark, parking lot. I went and parked over there and began trying to figure out what to do. I removed all the caps from the tires, inserted 75 cents in the pump machine thing, and began. I quickly realized that the pressure gauge was a piece of crap and I could barely see it in the dark. Just as I was becoming legitimately afraid that the tire would explode, the air machine shut off automatically. No progress had been made. Stupid waste of money.

So after this failed attempt, I went back inside to ask the Indian family for more help. Only the husband would talk to me and he had the quietest voice I have ever barely heard. As he tried to give more instructions, his adorable little daughters came out from behind the counter. One of them had a broom and proceeded to repeatedly hit me on the side of the head with it while singing twinkle twinkle little star. One would think that the parents would have some sort of reaction to their child assaulting a customer but one would be wrong. They did nothing. They did not even acknowledge that anything out of the ordinary was happening.

After the man finished whispering directions at me I went outside, paid another 75 cents, and made another attempt at filling the tires. I glanced through the gas station window and saw the family still staring at me. Good. Once I thought that I had accomplished my goal, I started the car. The indicator light was still on. I was too cold and irritated to try again so I left. My tires are still low right now.

A Brush With the Law

For Halloween, my roommate Alissa, my friend Nicole and I carved some pumpkins. After we lit them and admired them for about ten seconds it was time to smash them. We could not think of a better place to do this than at the track in the exact spot where Nicole broke her leg. It would be a way of saying "take that, universe!"

So we got our disguises on. I dressed as a man and Nicole and Alissa put on footy pajamas with scarves and hats. We also brought light sabers and a water gun to destroy anyone who got in our way. We got in the car, shades on, and rocked out to "I'm sexy and I know it" as we made our way to ground zero.

Upon arrival at our destination, Nicole suggested that we wait for a few minutes to make sure we were in the clear. I thought this was an unnecessary precaution and was anxious to get out but I was really glad she said this because about thirty seconds later a car entered the track parking lot. We new it had to be the cops.

Then came the realization of how shady we looked driving into the track with no lights on, wearing disguises, pumpkins in hand. Our intentions could not have been more obvious. The cop turned his lights on and we knew we were caught. While we waited for him to approach our car, we quickly took off as much of our disguises as possible and I attempted to hide two pumpkins under my feet. Nicole hid the last pumpkin as the cop reached the window.

He asked what were we doing at the track. We are on the track team and came to hang out. Who are the coaches? I rattled off a bunch of their names. Why are you guys hanging out at the track so late? We came here to look at the spot where Nicole broke her leg. Have you had anything to drink? No. All of the things we said were true if you replaced hang out with smash pumpkins and look at with defile. He bought it and let us go. As we left the parking lot, another cop pulled in. We barely escaped.

Though we were fairly relieved at this point, we still had a major problem. The pumpkins remained unsmashed. It was decided that the next best place to smash them would be our teammates house. So, Megan, Kelsey, Katherin, Betsy, and Julia, you didn't know this until now, but that carnage you found in your front yard on the morning of November 1st... that was us. HAHAHA.

PS. It was a love crime. Not a hate crime.

I am Dexter

I have started watching Dexter, a TV series where the protagonist (Dexter) is a serial killer. Disturbingly, I find myself relating way too much to Dexter. A lot of the things he says are things I have thought before. Not about any of the murders... but about not having emotions and faking social interactions.

Sometimes the show plays what Dexter is thinking over what he is actually saying. For example, to a crying woman, out loud he will say, "yeah that is really sad," but the thought that plays over this will be something like, "Thats what happens when you care too much".

He realizes when something is sad, determines the socially acceptable way to respond to it, and then responds in that manner without feeling anything in particular about it. I think I do this sometimes. Not always.

Life Is Wierd

Drag Racing

When I get old I want to be just like her:

The team went to Chicago this weekend for a meet (and dominated everyone and everything) and on the way through downtown, this woman was not playing games. She pulled up next to the van at a stop light and inched into the intersection. She never looked at us, but she knew we were there and she knew what she was doing. It was on. You could tell by her posture and the way that she played off the confrontation as if it were not even occurring that she used to and still does live the typical Chi-town thug life.

Her demeanor would have probably scared off a lesser foe, but not us. We all still felt a little invincible after destroying at our meet. As soon as the light turned green the lady ate 12-passenger van dust. TAKE THAT YOU OLD GANGSTA!

Look At Me Now

This is a picture of a musical duo who call themselves Karmin:

Looking at the picture of these two, I never imagined that this could come out of them:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khCokQt--l4

It starts getting really intense around 1:03. The girl is crazy good.

Racewalking 2: Video Challenge

1) Open this link in a new tab: Racewalking Video

- Pause the video at the beginning and move to step 2

2) Open this link in a new tab: Appropriate Racewalking Background Music

- Wait for any adds at the start to finish playing

3) When the song begins, keep it playing and go to the race walk video page and start watching it simultaneously.

4) You're welcome.

5) Sorry Joel if you happen to see this post...

Racewalking: Dumbest "Sport" Ever

This "sport" is so stupid:

Racewalking Video

1) Even people who are track fans are ashamed of race walking

2) They look like their shins are going to break

3) It would be fitting if they all wore fanny packs

4) We used to do racewalking down the halls in the dorms before the RA made us stop because we were disturbing peoples sleep

Optimism

As an attempt to be more optimistic and positive, my teammate (Megan) and I have begun trying to find the silver lining on things that initially seem bad.

Examples:

- The good thing about a 4 hour Sunday morning practice is we don't have to worry about figuring out what to eat for breakfast because we just won't eat it.

- The good thing about when it gets extremely hot and humid and we race really badly is that we don't have to worry about feeling good about ourselves or about getting a feeling of accomplishment from the sport we dedicate so much time and energy to.

- The good thing about not getting enough sleep is that you don't have to feel awake for any portion of the day.

- The good thing about driving really far away to do a workout is that you don't have to worry about the inconvenience of planning what to do with your free time because you can just spend it swerving all over the road in the back of a smelly van.

Asserting Dominance

Last Friday while warming up with my team for our first cross country meet of the season, we ran by the rec fields where 3 little boys were playing soccer. One of them accidently kicked the ball out of the gate and it rolled into our path. In order to assert my dominance over these children, I punted the ball as far as possible away from them and then laughed in their faces. As we continued to run one of the boys' tiny prepubescent voices chirped out "You'll pay for that!". He was wrong. I did not pay for it.

Sleep Deprivation

Last night I slept for 11 hours. The night before I slept for 5 hours. I kind of feel the same amount of tired today as I did yesterday. I guess its not super healthy to have such random sleep patterns.

Online one time I saw that a sign of sleep deprivation is a growing anger and near hatred of everything and everyone around you. Sounds fun! I do think that when I am sleep deprived I tend to develop hatred for random strangers that I know nothing about. How dare that guy in the computer lab have such a loud carrying voice! Why does that girl in the hallway think its ok to talk on the phone in another language and virtually eliminate my ability to eavesdrop? The nerve. And why do those 2 people I have never seen before think they should greet each other so cheerfully? It is early and they shouldn't be able to summon that much energy. Soooo inconsiderate.

Another sign of sleep deprivation is being socially inept. If that is true then I have been sleep deprived every day since birth. Or at least since learning to speak coherently. You can't really expect a baby to be a social butterfly when they can't talk.

I want to nap later. Maybe I will but usually when I wake up from a nap in the middle of the day i feel like I have been run over several times by a steam roller and then tortured via water board for a couple hours. Maybe I won't. But probably will.

Damn You Auto Correct

This website is hysterical and I read about 200 of them last night:

http://damnyouautocorrect.com/

This site is also a time suck:

http://theoatmeal.com/

From the website I ordered this shirt for my gay roommate:

Shout Out

Giving a "shout out" is presumptuous because it makes the assumption that there are enough people reading a blog to "shout out" to. Well I fully acknowledge this and don't care.

Shout out to Kelsey Hart, Julia Gross, Betsy Flood, Katherin Rehn, and Megan Ranegar for having a sweet pad. Check it out:

http://www.flotrack.org/video/505178-Track-Shacks-University-of-Iowa-Womens-Cross-Country

STAY IN SCHOOL AS LONG AS YOU CAN

Today was the first day of school. IT WAS WAY BETTER THAN WORK.

Work is like this:

-Get up early

-Drive to work

-Sit at a desk and pretend to be professional for 4 hours

-Eat lunch for an hour

-Sit at a desk and pretend to be professional for 4 hours

-Drive home

-Get 3 hours to use for working out, eating, showering, and hanging out

-Go to bed

School is like this:

-Get up sort of early but it really only feels early cuz of the late night before

-Bike to class

-Have class for one hour where you can wear what you want and there is almost no standard of professionalism

-Take a nap or hang out with friends

-Another class in which the prof is progressive and throws in the occasional swear word

-Head over to the Pentacrest: Would you like some free lemonade and coupon booklets? You look parched from your long day.

- Why thank you! Don't mind if I do.

-Picnic lunch outdoors for an hour. SO DIFFICULT.

-Class again where the prof has been teaching for 50 years so he is really laid back and announces he will only hold lecture for 2 of the first 4 weeks.

-Bike home in the beautiful sunshine

-10 hours of free time/ workout time/ homework time

-Maybe go to bed or maybe stay up and hang out more

Why did I ever think that school was so bad???? This attitude will probably change as soon as projects, papers, and tests roll around. Then I will go back to hating school.

WORK = DONE. Sort of.

Today was my last day at the 'ol internship. It was kind of depressing because I felt like I met a lot of cool people there that I may not ever see again. I was pretty excited to have a week of summer before school starts. I say "was excited" because that was before I remembered I don't get a summer.

Instead I get to go to Dubuque for 5 days because one of my classes has "jump start week". This week was named in an attempt to make extra school sound fun. Well, my idea of fun involves a lot more sleep and tv and seeing friends and does not involve any sort of schedule or wearing of business casual clothing or wearing of more clothing than just shorts and a sports bra.

Here are the things that I already know I won't like about "jump start week" that wouldn't happen if I got my week of summer:

1) Waking up to an alarm

2) Immediately getting out of bed instead of lounging for several hours

3) Dressing nice

4) Feigning interest in things

5) Not napping

6) Conversing with people I will only talk to next week and never again

7) Being polite

8) Learning

9) Thinking

10) Having a positive attitude

11) Being asked questions like "What did you do this summer?" because there is nothing else to talk about

12) Introducing myself to people

13) Running by myself

14) Walking

15) Trying to stay awake

I am sure there will be plenty of good things but those are way less fun to mention.

Bix 7

Last weekend I ran the Bix7, a super hilly 7 mile race through Davenport, IA. The participation this year was about 18,000 runners and there was a giant post race party with TONS of food. It was awesome. Also at the finish was a large medical tent and volunteers who would look at people at the finish and decide if they needed medical attention.

When I finished I was very hot and tired and breathing hard but I want to make it clear that I did not need medical attention and I felt that I was behaving in a pretty acceptable way for someone who had just finished a hot, hilly, 7 miler. There was a woman with a bucket of cold cloths walking by and I asked if I could have one and reached towards the bucket. She was busy giving cloths to other finishers and walked away which made a medic nearby interpret my actions in the following way:

1) Speaking unintelligibly = confused and unaware of surroundings (Really I was just breathing hard so I couldn't make full sentences. I was not confused--I knew exactly what I wanted but that bucket lady wouldn't give it to me).

2) Staggering forwards arm outstretched = loss of control (NO. I wanted a freaking cold cloth).

3) Drenched in sweat = overheated (Duh. I just finished a race).

Anyways, the concerned medic grabbed my arm and forcefully pulled me into the medical tent shouting "Station 2! Station 2!" and led me to a cot to sit on. I kept saying I was fine but they wouldn't listen. They just thought I was confused and didn't know what I was talking about. Inside the tent I was covered in cold cloths and sprayed with water. This felt good but it was a little much. When they brought out the blood pressure sleeve I stood up and said "No, I really am fine" and left the tent. I think they were still skeptical but that medic had released her iron grip on my arm and I was able to get away. I then went and gorged on the post-race goodies and the afternoon was great.

BLOG! and MOVING

I have just noticed a trend that I like very much. There is a little thing I can click on to see how many people have read BLOG! in each month since it existed. I have a theory that the most common time that people read BLOG! is when they should be studying or doing homework. Notice how the number of views increases towards finals and then dips down during breaks. November had a small peak and then a drop during winter break. May had a gigantic peak and then fizzled in the summer. To me this says that people get more and more desperate for a distraction when they most need to focus. I am very glad to provide that distraction. Any day I can discourage anyone else from being productive is a good day for me.

On another note... I HATE MOVING. I have moved all my possessions out of my house except for some clothes and blankets for sleeping on the floor. Also, Our water is shut off. After a long day of work and then moving everything I own, I can't think of anything better than coming home to no water and curling up on the floor of my room to sleep. JOY.

Secret Service

When I saw Obama speak at work, I waited in line for several hours with a friend. During this time, there were numerous secret service agents perusing the area looking really intense and ordering people around. At one point a guy in a suit approached and asked what the line we were in was for and I got nervous like he was gonna kick us out for some reason. We did accidentally/on purpose budge in line and it seemed he was on to us.

Thankfully he was not secret service but a newspaper reporter who was just getting the facts for his story. Still, this got my friend and I thinking. We had been ready to do whatever this guy told us to do just because he had a suit on and looked official. It is very possible that if we had showed up in suits and looked really serious, we could have also ordered people around. Maybe this could work at other events too! Like concerts or museums or really anywhere with security. If someone came up to a line full of people and said that they needed to all hold their arms up so they could see that nobody had weapons I am betting they would do it and look absolutely ridiculous without a second thought. They could be told they need to stand in a line that is exactly 3 wide or that all their cameras needed to be inspected or the inside of their shoes needed to be searched for bombs and then some could get confiscated. The possibilities are endless and exciting.

Radio Star

Today on the way to work I was listening to Red Hot Ryan Scott and Tony Tone on B100 and they asked for people to call in to talk about driving before they got their licenses. Being extremely bored I dialed the number and was really amazed when someone answered. Then I was on hold for a little but ended up talking to Red Hot and Tony about the MN government getting shut down so I couldn't get my permit and then my Dad allowing me to drive anyways. Next we talked about when I let my friend's 12 year old sister drive my car right after I got my license. After that, either Ryan Scott or Tony Tone called me sweetie and I began to wonder how old they thought I was based only on my voice. Before I had told them about letting my friend's sister drive, they had asked me if I ended up getting a license, which I did...5 years ago. I am pretty sure they thought it was recent.

Hot VS Cold

I would like to make a case for cold weather. I hear way more people complain about cold weather than hot weather and I do not get it. If it is cold outside, there is an extremely easy fix: SHUT UP AND PUT MORE CLOTHES ON. If it is hot out, you can only take off so many articles of clothing without being arrested. Side note: public urination can get your name on the level one sex offender list. Unless you are intentionally urinating on or in front of a person, I would tend to disagree with the harshness of this law. Anyways, I have never been more uncomfortable than on a hot humid run where each breath feels like I am sucking in scalding vapor and I am getting little or no oxygen from the effort. I do not enjoy sticking to myself, being asked if I went swimming after running, dripping sweat on evrything, or shrivling to the ground and eventually dying. Excersizing in cold weather starts out mildly uncomfortable but gets nicer as your body heats up. Excersise in hot weather on the other hand starts out uncomfortable and then progresses to untolerable until you eventually pass out and die. Though mild temperatures are obviously preferable, if one extreme must be chosen, clearly cold weather is the better option.

Instant Netflix is dangerous

On Friday I watched 5 hours of America: The Story Of Us on instant Netflix. This is a documentary series from the History Channel that talks about everything big that has ever happened in America. I learned about the Pilgrams, the Revolutionary War, the invention of the cotton gin, the Civil War, Pearl Harbor, and everything in between. I think that is all the evidence needed to conclude that instant Netflix is a powerful but extremely dangerous thing. TOO MUCH LEARNING DURING MY FREE TIME.

I also just realized how unintentionally fitting this is since today is the 4th of July.

I got new running shoes last week. I usually get Nikes but they didn't have those in stock at school so this time I had to get Brooks. Let me first say that many people on my team run in Brooks and love them and have never had an issue with them. I have come to the conclusion, however, that these shoes are not right for me. This might just be me being picky but I don't think a running shoe is supposed to slice into your achilles every time you turn a corner. Oh well, I am sure it will be fine as long as it is just a surface wound and doesn't make its way down to the tendon. But seriously, I could cut my steak with the top back edge of my shoe.



The perpetrator:

AHAHAHAHAHAHA today was SO cool.

I thought I wouldn't get to see Obama because they announced that only 200 people would be randomly selected from 2200 employees and I didn't think I would be a lucky one. Wrong! On Saturday morning I got a call saying my name was picked. I almost pooped myself.

So today, I somehow managed to get a fifth row seat at the speech! I may have budged in front of some people but thats beside the point. Once seated, we all sat there for 3 hours waiting for the president to arrive and it was completely worth it. First the ceo of the company showed up and then the governor of Iowa, several important congressmen, and a bunch of mayors, the king of eastern Iowa, and finally the prince of Persia. They all sat in a section about 20 feet away from me. After a REALLY long time, some official person went up front and took the "Seal of the President of the United States" out of this really nice looking bag and hung it on the front of the podium. A little while later, Obama came jogging into the room waving like a sports star with the typical presidential entrance music and the announcer saying "Ladies and gentlemen, The President of the United States!". He must get really sick of that every time he enters a room. Anyways, he gave his speech and it was good. He knew more about the company than I did. Afterwards, people went up front to shake hands with him and I tried to get there but missed my opportunity by about 1 foot. So close! Oh well, it was still really awesome to be there and I will remember it forever.

Airport-like security at the entrance:

Really serious secret service guy:

Me in front of the podium with the secret service guy lurking in the background:

Mr. President talking about stuff:

So close to a hand shake:

The 2 Most Exciting Things Ever to Happen At Work

These 2 equally exciting things happened within minutes of eachother:

First, I got an email saying that President Obama is going to come and tour the plant on Tuesday. This plant is huge so I most likely will not see him but maybe I will try and wander around and casually bump into him. "Oh, hey there Mr. President, I didn't know you were going to be here today...lets grab lunch and talk policy if I can find time to schedule you in." Fool proof plan. I will make myself sound super busy so then I sound more important to the running of the company and thus to the running nation.

Second, minutes later, I got a phone call from one of the HR people who was in charge of orientation. At the end of the week long event everyone was rewarded with an extremely trendy and completely feminine, long sleeve, button up, denim shirt with a company logo on the breast. It goes with EVERYTHING. Anyways, they didn't have my size so I didn't get one...UNTIL TODAY!!!! The call was that my gorgeous shirt had arrived and I could pick it up. Needless to say, I practically sprinted across the plant to get the one part of my wardrobe that I have been missing.

What a day.