Challenge DESTROYED

HAHAHA! 4 posts in less than 1 hour. Take that Betsy Flood. You were so right.

Ed Bassmaster Videos + 20 Day Challenge

When I get back to school from break I have decided to make something different for dinner every single day for 20 days because I am getting really bored of turkey sandwiches and soup.

That is really all I have to say about that.

Also check out these links:

Look at this car

Look at this dog

Look at this - Times Square

Look at this from a car

Ultimate Farting

Thanksgiving Average Age

At Thanksgiving this year I was the youngest person by 30 years.

There were 2 people in their 50s, 1 in their 60s, 3 in their 70s, and 2 in their 80s.

I was the only one there who had not witnessed the 1960s and my mom and I were the only ones who had not witnessed any part of the 1950s.

In fact, I am willing to bet that the average age of the people at my thanksgiving (about 65) was significantly higher than that of any of my friends. Average age not counting me was about 72.

It wasn't bad though. Old people have a lot of interesting stories so it was cool.

Challenge Accepted

Betsy Flood says: "I just blogged three times in 24 hours. Beat that. (I don't doubt that you will)."

Well Betsy, I am going to show you just how right you are.

Boredem

Tonight I ran out of things to do so I started practicing writing with my right hand (since I am a lefty). My hands started writing messages to each other.

Dear left hand,

Why are you so good at writing? Show off...

Love, Right hand

Dear right hand,

You are coming along nicely. Practice makes perfect so don't give up!

Love, Left hand

Dear left hand,

Thanks. I really appreciate it. I will keep trying forever.

Love Always, Right hand

P.S. When we clap, my day lights up and I feel like I am in heaven.

I had to stop before it got too intense.

Ancestors

Guess what.

Robert E. Lee is my third cousin 7 times removed. Don't worry, that doesn't make me a racist.

Also, my great x 10 Grandpa (on my mom's dad's side) was Reverend Charles Grymes and was born in Ightham, Kent, England in 1612 and immigrated to Gloucester County, Virginia in 1644. This is less than 40 years after the John Smith arrived there and all the shenanigans with Pocahontas went down.

So, to sum everything up, my family pretty much started the U.S. of A.

Legit Hoarders In the Family

Yesterday I learned about some family history and apparently there is a hoarding gene in there somewhere.

First some confusing background: My mom's dad's mom (so my Great Grandma Evelina) had 5 siblings - Martha, Gilma, Stella, Elton, and Ruth. Stella and Elton never married and Ruth married a guy named Charlie and Martha married and had a baby named Shirley. Shirley married a guy named Harrison. Of the people mentioned, Stella, Elton, Harrison, and Charlie were all hoarders.

Stella hoarded dolls and her house was like a horror movie. The walls were covered in shelves which were covered in dolls staring into the souls of anyone who entered. My second cousin, Pam, new Stella liked dolls so she gave her one as a gift. Stella promptly named it Janice and and then later wrote Pam a thank you letter saying "Janice is settling in quite nicely between Eunice and Maude".

Elton had numerous collections of things but his most prized possession was his car. He built a building around it without a garage door so that nobody would steal it. This also eliminated the car's only useful function.

Harrison didn't hoard any particular item but would never throw anything away. He flattened and saved all the cardboard boxes he ever had - just in case they needed to be used again. These were placed in the rafters and accumulated there for years until their shear weight actually fractured the rafters.

Charlie hoarded guns.

I would like to say that I could not be more thrilled about having these relatives. It would be super boring if they were all just regular people.

We Be Steady Prankin'

This week there was no practice. So time was filled with all of the following activities:

- Planking at Walmart in onesies and buying plastic forks in bulk

- Forking the track shack

- Failure at fitting 3 people in one bed for a night

- Making Banana Bread and delivering it

- Playing soccer

- Buffalo Wild Wings

- Watching Dexter

- Stopping by a Bday party for ten minutes and then staying for 3 hours

- Watching movies

- iwastesomuchtime.com

- Hyvee 3 times in one hour

- Grilling burgers and hot dogs and making WAY to much mac and cheese

- Making chips ahoy, Nutella, and Peanut Butter sandwiches

- Human Centipede

- Walmart again - dressed in all black - to buy over a mile of yarn

- Yarning the track shack

- a cop drove by while we were doing this, slowed way down, and then let us continue

- Attending a Zumba class

- Dairy Queen

- Karaoke at the hideaway

Time for Thanksgiving break!

Humorous Links (That Work Now)

Sled Jacking Dog:

www.yourpics2008.com/like-a-boss.html

First World Problems:

knowyourmeme.com/photos/194147-first-world-problems

Great Way to Get Immediate Response From Police:
imgdaddy.com/DE/

Church Sign Battle:

pete.com/view/battle-of-the-church-signs

Car Tire Problem

I was driving to the Quad Cities on Wednesday night when an indicator on my dashboard lit up saying I had low tire pressure. I know absolutely nothing about cars so I called my Dad and asked him what to do about it. He said, "You are a mechanical engineer, figure it out," and then added, "but don't fill the tires too full because they will explode and thats really dangerous".

That was soooooo helpful. Thanks Dad. I would like to point out that I am not yet an engineer and the thing about tires exploding just made me extremely paranoid and afraid to put any air in them at all.

Anyways, I got off the highway and went to a bp gas station with the intention to ask for help from the person working there. Behind the counter was an entire Indian family who stared at me in silence as I entered. When I asked for help, all I got was that the air pump was on the other side of the cold, dark, parking lot. I went and parked over there and began trying to figure out what to do. I removed all the caps from the tires, inserted 75 cents in the pump machine thing, and began. I quickly realized that the pressure gauge was a piece of crap and I could barely see it in the dark. Just as I was becoming legitimately afraid that the tire would explode, the air machine shut off automatically. No progress had been made. Stupid waste of money.

So after this failed attempt, I went back inside to ask the Indian family for more help. Only the husband would talk to me and he had the quietest voice I have ever barely heard. As he tried to give more instructions, his adorable little daughters came out from behind the counter. One of them had a broom and proceeded to repeatedly hit me on the side of the head with it while singing twinkle twinkle little star. One would think that the parents would have some sort of reaction to their child assaulting a customer but one would be wrong. They did nothing. They did not even acknowledge that anything out of the ordinary was happening.

After the man finished whispering directions at me I went outside, paid another 75 cents, and made another attempt at filling the tires. I glanced through the gas station window and saw the family still staring at me. Good. Once I thought that I had accomplished my goal, I started the car. The indicator light was still on. I was too cold and irritated to try again so I left. My tires are still low right now.

A Brush With the Law

For Halloween, my roommate Alissa, my friend Nicole and I carved some pumpkins. After we lit them and admired them for about ten seconds it was time to smash them. We could not think of a better place to do this than at the track in the exact spot where Nicole broke her leg. It would be a way of saying "take that, universe!"

So we got our disguises on. I dressed as a man and Nicole and Alissa put on footy pajamas with scarves and hats. We also brought light sabers and a water gun to destroy anyone who got in our way. We got in the car, shades on, and rocked out to "I'm sexy and I know it" as we made our way to ground zero.

Upon arrival at our destination, Nicole suggested that we wait for a few minutes to make sure we were in the clear. I thought this was an unnecessary precaution and was anxious to get out but I was really glad she said this because about thirty seconds later a car entered the track parking lot. We new it had to be the cops.

Then came the realization of how shady we looked driving into the track with no lights on, wearing disguises, pumpkins in hand. Our intentions could not have been more obvious. The cop turned his lights on and we knew we were caught. While we waited for him to approach our car, we quickly took off as much of our disguises as possible and I attempted to hide two pumpkins under my feet. Nicole hid the last pumpkin as the cop reached the window.

He asked what were we doing at the track. We are on the track team and came to hang out. Who are the coaches? I rattled off a bunch of their names. Why are you guys hanging out at the track so late? We came here to look at the spot where Nicole broke her leg. Have you had anything to drink? No. All of the things we said were true if you replaced hang out with smash pumpkins and look at with defile. He bought it and let us go. As we left the parking lot, another cop pulled in. We barely escaped.

Though we were fairly relieved at this point, we still had a major problem. The pumpkins remained unsmashed. It was decided that the next best place to smash them would be our teammates house. So, Megan, Kelsey, Katherin, Betsy, and Julia, you didn't know this until now, but that carnage you found in your front yard on the morning of November 1st... that was us. HAHAHA.

PS. It was a love crime. Not a hate crime.