Surgery Shows...

...are more addicting than meth (ya, I am qualified to make this comparison). This weekend I had a lot of downtime and so I spent most of it watching surgery shows on discovery fit and health. As soon as you see the first 5 minutes of an episode you have to watch the rest. You owe it to that guy with a tree limb through his neck to stay tuned and see if he survives. And you owe it to the guy with the ice pick in his ear who stuck it in there himself to kill the demons that kept talking to him. Would you really leave these people hanging? After at least 10 hours of surgery shows this weekend I can safely say that I would not.

Best Argument Of All Time

One time my brother and I had a really long argument about the thickness of our ankles. We measured our ankle thicknesses using our thumbs and pointer fingers to make a ring around our ankles and then measuring how much space was left over. We determined that my ankles were smaller than his ankles... as it should be with me being a woman. My brother then claimed that his ankles were only made thicker by having leg hair that would flatten and contribute to the circumference of his ankles. I argued that even if this ridiculous theory were true, the radius of his ankle would increase by no more than 5 hair thicknesses which would mean the ankle circumference would only increase by 2 times 5 hair thicknesses times pi. This is a circumference increase of about thirty hair thickness. Seeing as the thickness of a hair is miniscule, the thickness of thirty hairs would not be significant enough to change the outcome of our measurements and his ankle would still be thicker than mine. I AM RIGHT.

This argument made me twenty minutes late to hanging out with my friend Lynnea.

Aging Significantly

I have only had work for a week but I have become an old person. I now go to bed at 9:15 and wake up at 5:15. This weekend when I could stay up late and then sleep in, I could only make it til around 11 before falling asleep and then naturally awoke around 7AM. This makes me sick. Also, yesterday I was a responsible adult and spent a large part of my Saturday running errands and cleaning. Ugh. I need to do something REALLY immature before I explode.

First Day Of Work

Its now officially summer. This means that working begins. This is the first real adult job I have ever had. I am working for Alcoa as a Mechanical Engineering Intern. Today I learned that orientation is more boring than anything I have ever experienced. I got up at 5:15, drove to Bettendorf, was there for 8 hours listening to endless talks about everything you could ever think of and then I drove back to Iowa City. This is going to be my life this summer.

At orientation we were given a note pad to take notes. Here are the notes I took:

- This may be the most boring day of my life

- It looks like I'm taking notes but I am really practicing my handwriting

- Basically, the Alcoa Business System is the greatest thing to ever happen to anyone ever

- That lady with the sunglasses is a freaking genius

- I didn't get a binder and I don't care if I ever do. A functioning hard hat would be nice though. (they passed out binders and hard hats. My hard hat sucked)

- When you have a dictionary of acronyms you know you have too many acronyms

- Why does the phrase "problem solving" need a logo? Oh, to spice up the power point

-"Impactful". Word or not a word?

-Someone was paid to create logos for all 7 stability tools

-Six minutes to the next break

- It is almost impossible to stay awake

-[picture of my hard hat]

-[picture of a tree]

-[picture of a bike]

-[picture of a car]

I will definitely reference these notes every day after orientation ends.

Adolf Hitler

There is a goose inhabiting the river trail near my house who recently decided that his sole purpose in life is to stand in the path and terrorize innocent walkers, bikers, runners, baby animals, and orphans. He started out just hissing but has become more violent with each encounter. I realize he is probably just protecting his wife and unhatched babies but I don't think all the rage is really that necessary. I wouldn't even have known his family lived there had he not been a big fat bully to me every time I passed. I named him Adolf after a historic villain that only astute history buffs like myself have ever heard of...

First encounter: Just a little hissing. Nothing major but enough to show he is serious.

Second encounter: I decide not to move over to the side of the trail. We play a little game of chicken which he won by hissing and not moving out of my way at all.

Third encounter: I am running, Kathryn is riding her bike. I feel like there is no way he will hold his ground against a bike. He does. Kathryn swerves out of the way at the last moment.

Fourth encounter: Today on an out and back style run he is standing on the side of the trail on my way out. I was not in the mood to lose at chicken again so I just went to the far side of the trail to give him space. This was not good enough for him. Once he saw that he had me completely trained and beaten he thought he would pour salt in the wound by chasing me down the path a little bit. Bastard. I escaped.

Fifth encounter: On the way back I saw him from far down the trail. He had taken up a post in the middle of the path and stood there with a new confidence I had never seen before. I watched as another jogger, who was clearly familiar with the iron will of this demon bird, turned around, too afraid to confront the foul beast at all. I prepared myself for what I knew would be a battle of guts and will power. This bird stood between me and home and I was not going to let him win this time. As I approached, the wretched thing adjusted his stance, readying himself for a charge. His beady black eyes pierced into my soul and as he reared his head to hiss, my confidence was shaken. I stopped running but I did not retreat. We stood there staring at each other, grasping the high stakes of the situation, neither one of us willing to make a move. Finally, the goose picked up his ugly black webbed foot and took the tiniest of steps backwards. He was wavering. I took a slow step forwards, never breaking eye contact. Very gradually, and with extreme caution, I forced the foul creature to back down the trail and over to the side. I edged my way around on the side of the path, never turning my back to him. Then, I was free. Adolf left enough space for me to squeeze through without the risk of an attack and I was able to continue my run home. VICTORY! This encounter may have been more dramatic in my mind because of severe sleep deprivation.

Anywho, its my birthday today. I'm 21 now.

Gestation Period

The African Elephant has a gestation period of up to 2 years. If I were an African Elephant I would just not make a baby. Also, Possums only have a gestation period of 12 to 13 days. Dang.

THIS IS THE CRAP I LOOK UP TO AVOID DOING SCHOOL WORK. Why can't it be summer....

Starin' Contest

We made this movie:

Hahaha. So dumb.