Making A Scene At Christmas Eve

I found the best way to do this is to spout blood from an appendage. Any appendage will do.

Per usual, my family was the last of 16 guests to arrive at Christmas Eve. We were balancing bulky presents and dishes of food and wine in our arms so getting through the door (which liked to swing shut of its own accord) became quite the feat. I got half way in and still had one foot outside when the door decided to shut and hit me in the achilles. It stung briefly but I thought nothing of it and headed inside.

After greeting everyone I made my way into the living room and sat on the couch next to my grandpas brother and my mom. We had been talking for a few minutes when I happened to glance down at the ground to see my own blood pooling on our hosts white carpet. It was actually kind of horrifying. Then I lifted my pant leg a little to see the blood oozing out from where the door hit earlier. When I nudged my mom and pointed, all hell broke lose.

Someone ran to get a first aid kit, someone else threw paper towels at me, my mom put a plate under my foot to catch the blood, a fury of questions was launched, "how did this happen?", "when?", "does it hurt?", are you ok?" -- No, it did not hurt, I barely even noticed. Everyone else stopped what they were doing and gathered to see the commotion. My dad rushed to clean the carpet and sat there completely in the way dabbing at the spot while I tried to stop the bleeding. He was completely focused on removing the stain from the carpet and when I mentioned how in the way he was, he said "Well, you could move". Pure class.

Anyways, the cut ended up being fairly small and I am not sure how it was able to produce so much blood (through the coarse of the night it bled through two band aids and a sock). It really didn't hurt so people making a huge deal about it was oh so much fun. My dad successfully removed the carpet stain. The rest of the evening people kept saying things like "hows that foot" and "you better be careful where you step". How wonderfully fantastic it was.